Chilling Video Shows Terrified Hawaiians Hiding Their Kids In Storm Drains While Trump Golfed

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When an emergency alert was “accidentally” sent to Hawaiians that a ballistic missile was inbound and it was almost an hour before any correction was issued, you know what would have helped a great deal? A tweet from our President assuring them that, no, they are not going to die.

Sure, as former Obama defense official Patrick Granfield noted, “thank God the President was playing golf” when the alert went out or we may have witnessed the United States launching a nuclear missile at North Korea or otherwise “acting rashly,” but while he was busy doing that, terrified parents were desperately trying to keep their kids safe from the threat no one told them for an excruciating 40 minutes was not a threat.

Can you imagine receiving such a terrifying alert then having to decide to stuff your kids down a storm drain so they might have a chance to live? Having to suppress every fear you have of toxic gases, or your kid getting stuck somehow, or maybe the storm drain not being an adequate shelter to begin with, all on the random chance that their world might otherwise be about to end?

Many hours after the false alert, Trump has still said nothing about the false alert, but if Kim Jong Un wanted to launch a missile at Hawaii, he now knows our President* will not give a single fuck about it if he’s golfing. We can’t let little things like ballistic missiles mess up his vacation from doing nothing, can we?

Eventually, Trump was briefed on the false alert, which a White House spokeswoman calls “purely a state exercise” despite an overwhelming number of reports that the message was sent entirely in error.

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