God Destroys Home of Anti-Gay Pastor Tony Perkins


A flood has destroyed the Louisiana home of Tony Perkins, president of the notoriously anti-gay Family Research Council, which is listed as a hate group by the Southern Law Poverty Center.

The Perkins household was lost during the flooding that followed in the wake of last week’s record Louisiana rainfall, which has left 11 dead and has destroyed some 40,000 homes.

Being a good Christian, Perkins didn’t blame his misfortune on something as obvious and profane as man-made climate change, but on God. The creationist not only disbelieves the occurrence of global warming, but he thinks that “climate change alarmists” made the whole thing up to promote homosexuality.

The stranded Perkins, who was unable to make it into the studio for his nationally syndicated Washington Watch radio show, called in to report a catastrophe of “biblical proportions,” and explained that his family had fled in a canoe. Surprisingly, nobody thought to suggest that floods of truly biblical proportions would have required the use of a much larger vessel, namely an ark.

Perkins also told listeners that he and his brood were safely ensconced in the family RV and living off of “God’s provisions,” which either means that manna rained down from heaven along with the water, or that God now has an interest in Wal-Mart.

The unlucky Perkins will have to foment hate from a trailer for at least six months while the family home is rebuilt.

If Perkins—whose Evangelical brethren include John Haggee, the pastor who famously claimed that God sent Hurricane Katrina to prevent the holding of a Gay Pride Parade—truly believes that the Lord causes natural disasters to punish homosexuals and other evil-doers, we have to wonder what’s going through his mind right now.

Or maybe we should all check Grindr for profiles of lonely Louisiana flood victims who are unable to host.

Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore/Flickr

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