John Oliver: Trump Dominates News Like A Fart Dominates The Interior Of A Volkswagen Beetle


Baffled by the latest news cycle surrounding (Not My)President Donald Trump, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver said on Sunday, “Trump dominates the news cycle the way a fart dominates the interior of a Volkswagen Beetle. There is simply no escape from him.”

Nothing illustrated that more than Trump’s “batshit crazy press conference” on Thursday, for which Oliver cut to a montage of anchors on several networks all saying “wow” after the conference ended.

“Yes, wow indeed,” agreed Oliver. “A presidential press conference elicited the same reaction you get from people who just watched someone shoot fireworks out of his ass. Which, when you think about it, is actually fitting. Because whenever Trump speaks, what is it essentially other than just random sparks and flames, sputtering noisily out of a damaged asshole?”

Trump did himself one better than that when he went on to prompt global confusion over the weekend. During his Melbourne, FL rally on Saturday, he said there had been an Islamic terrorist attack in Sweden.

Trump told the crowd, “We’ve got to keep our country safe. You look at what’s happening in Germany, you look at what’s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden, who would believe this? Sweden. They took in large numbers. They’re having problems like they never thought possible.”

This confused everyone, including Sweden. There was no attack.

Trump later clarified his comments on Twitter, writing, “My statement as to what’s happening in Sweden was in reference to a story that was broadcast on @FoxNews concerning immigrants & Sweden.”

Our so-called president has the entire intelligence apparatus of America at his fingertips, but he chooses instead to rely on Fox News. Maybe the intelligence briefings should be held at Fox studios from now on.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time this has happened. Trump’s team has made up more than its share of fake terror attacks, from Trump spokespersons Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer advising Americans of the Islamic “Bowling Green massacre” (that never happened) to Spicer’s mention of the Islamic terrorist in “Atlanta.” Nope, that never happened either.

Stories like these serve as a warning to other countries.

“Just a quick message to all other countries on Earth,” Oliver explained.” In the future, you’re going to find yourself wanting to ask, ‘What is your president talking about?’ a great deal. And the answer is almost always going to be, ‘We have no fucking idea.’”


Image via Last Week Tonite screenshot

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