Like one of those neighbors you never invite over to talk about their vacation, our Moron-in-Chief Donald Trump spent his televised speech time from the White House Wednesday recounting all his (ahem) accomplishments during the recent 12-day Asia trip.
All that was missing were the slides.
In between assuring Americans how well he was pampered and fed, we couldn’t help but be distracted by all of Trump’s sniffling and an entertaining episode of dry mouth, during which he took a water break, Marco Rubio style. Only worse.
The thirst was strong with this one. Not only did the man-baby have a hard time finding something to wash down his lies, he had a worse time fumbling to open the water bottle once he found it. And then, as if the bottle was a sippy cup, he used both hands to hold it.
Needless to say, the water bottle incident soon became comedy fodder for social media.
“I’m automatically attracted to water bottles. I just start sucking them. It’s like a magnet. Just suck. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything … Grab the bottle by the pussy. You can do anything.”
-President Donald J. Trump
— andy lassner (@andylassner) November 15, 2017
Trump makes Senator Rubio look like a world champion water drinker compared to his clumsy display. Has the man never opened a bottle of water before? https://t.co/iUVMPFUssH
— Joe Scarborough (@JoeNBC) November 15, 2017
You having to use two hands to hold a water bottle makes a couple things clear.
Marco Rubio has bigger hands than Trump.
So do I.
So does everyone reading this.
PS: If you need help writing a resignation letter, I’m available.
— Frederick Douglass (@gettinnoticedmo) November 15, 2017
Evidence Trump usually drinks from sippy cups. He’s a two-handed miniature water bottle drinker. Another plus, small bottles → Trump’s teeny tiny hands look ginormous. #TrumpyPants pic.twitter.com/zFyTmdcU0T
— Bandit Aléatoire (@BanditRandom) November 15, 2017
Even Rubio himself got in on the fun.
Similar,but needs work on his form.Has to be done in one single motion & eyes should never leave the camera. But not bad for his 1st time https://t.co/s49JtyRo3S
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) November 15, 2017
But leave it to Trump’s morning intel — Fox & Friends — to come up with their own alternative take on the event, with co-host Ainsley Earhardt gushing over their moron in the Oval Office saying “it’s so cute how he used two hands!”
Apparently, American water isn’t good enough for the short-fingered vulgarian president, who spent his entire televised speech bragging about all the manufacturing he was bringing back to the United States. His water of choice? Fiji,which is imported 6,744 miles from our US border.
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