Roy Moore Is So Deep In Denial His Campaign Should Be Entombed In A Pyramid

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It’s been a while since America has seen an epic refusal to concede. Usually the worst that happens following a closely-contested race like the one Doug Jones just won in Alabama is that the loser gives a rather salty speech and moves on.

Older readers will remember the “you won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore” speech that Tricky Dick gave after losing the 1962 California governor’s race to Democrat Pat Brown. More recently, a Colorado Republican named Marilyn Musgrave lost her reelection bid in 2008 and famously disappeared completely from public view, refusing to concede or even speak to anyone, despite having the remainder of a term to serve out. She did eventually show up again, however, and did not dispute that she was no longer a member of Congress.

Roy Moore, however, is a different story.

On Thursday, the Alabama Secretary of State certified Doug Jones’ victory, meaning he will be sworn in next month as the newest United States Senator. But Moore issued a statement after that vote certification, still disputing the outcome of the election:

“Election fraud experts across the country have agreed that this was a fraudulent election. I’ve had to fight not only the Democrats but also the Republican Senate Leadership Fund and over $50 million in opposition spending from the Washington establishment.”

Moore attempted to file a motion to block the certification Wednesday night but was denied by the judge, and the Secretary of State told news outlets that his office had already investigated all claims of voter fraud and found nothing of consequence to consider.

Many wonder how Moore could possibly still believe that he won the election, especially in light of the multiple credible allegations against him regarding improper sexual contact with children when he was a prosecutor in his 30’s. It is no secret, however, that Moore truly believes he is ordained by God to serve in some public capacity. In fact, he has always believed not only that God has put him in power over the years, but that “God’s Law” supersedes any law written by man.

Small wonder, then, that he can’t accept that God would just kick him to the curb like this. I guess Jesus isn’t cool with child molesters, either.

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