Weakest Dictator Ever: Jade Helm Exercises End, Obama Fails To Take Over The South:(


According to conspiracy theorists and many right wing politicians, the military exercise Jade Helm 15, was an operation implemented by Evil Obama in order to takeover the South and confiscate their guns. And possibly eat Southerners for a snack.















Obama. has. failed. us.

The exercises will end today.

Those buying into the Conspiracy theory include Texas Gov. Gregg Abbott, Sen. Rand Paul, Chuck Norris, Rick Perry, Sen. Ted Cruz, Rep. Louie Gohmert, and a former marine who started a counter-Jade Helm group to spy on our troops.

Oh, there were others, too. That’s just the short list.

Shots were fired at a Jade Helm site in Mississippi for two straight days.

The Republican Party’s office in Bastrop County, Texas, features a sign reading “WISE UP AMERICA!” Most of the townspeople believed Jade Helm was for reals and that Obama was taking over the South.

The townspeople freaked out. Obama is coming with the Americans!

“I’m sensitive to the fact that some of our Bastrop residents are concerned, and I’m confident that they are very sincere about their concerns,” County Judge Paul Pape said a the time. “But how did we get to this point in our country?”

Or, is the Judge part of Obama’s plot?

We have documented the number of guns which were confiscated during the operations:









The exercise which was carried out in parts of Texas, Mississippi, Louisiana and Florida, will conclude today after two months of operations, according to Suzanne Nagl, a spokeswoman for Army Special Operations Command, which oversaw it, the Washington Post reports, who may or may not also be in on it.

“At this time, we do not have any lessons learned to share since we have not yet conducted an after-action review of the exercise, but we do believe the exercise overall was a success,” Nagl said.

The military has routinely held training exercises like Jade Helm in the past but this one went crazy on the Internet with conspiracy theorists, because Obama is black, therefore it’s super-scary.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) ordered the Texas State Guard, a militia he oversees, to monitor the exercise – yet nothing out of the ordinary happened:(

Sen. Ted Cruz (R.-Tex.) said he wanted more information from the Pentagon and former Texas Gov. Rick Perry told Texas residents they should trust the military.

However, he later suggested that “normal Americans” feared the president would allow Islamic State militants to invade southwestern states during the military exercise which proves that “crazy things are happening right now.”

The military exercises are over, but according to the Jade Helm Commander of Important Stuff, that may be only what Obama wants ‘them’ to think.

Or, perhaps Obama is the weakest dictator ever.

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