What Could Go Wrong: Ammosexuals Open Shooting Range At NC High School


A North Carolina High School has made the decision to open a 1,200-square-foot, six-lane, indoor shooting range on campus.


Sadly, I’m not joking.

The Smithfield-Selma High School opened the shooting range for members of JROTC to practice using Daisy pump air riles. I know what you’re thinking. It’s just a pump rifle. Guess what? Pellet and BB guns can kill. BB guns can fire at 550 feet/second. It only requires 200 feet/second to fracture a bone.

But don’t worry. Administrators have assured that the students will be properly trained.

Commander David Wegman:

“There’s a marksmanship safety test they have to take, and they have to get a 100 on it. In addition to that, they have to sign a safety pledge, get permission from home, and then finally demonstrate on the range that they know how to handle one of these air rifles safely.”

Last time I checked, safety pledges mean jack diddly shit (remember that pledge GOP candidates signed and are now regretting?), kids can fake signatures (I did it plenty for my progress reports, which were all As by the way, I just forgot to show my mom), and kids can demonstrate whatever type of behavior they want when an adult’s back is turned. Also, any kid can sneak in anywhere. They are wily creatures. Not to mention, freak accidents just happen.


What makes this even better is that The North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission and the National Shooting Sports Foundation both donated almost all of the $10,000 in supplies for the range. That’s right. A government entity donated to this wonderful cause.

Again, Wegman assures us all that the range poses no threat:

“The procedures that we have in place ensure that we do the same thing, the same way, every single time.”

Excuse me sir, but fuck ups DO happen.

Currently only four of the JROTC students are qualified to use the range; however, Wegman plans to have all seniors in the JROTC program on it within the year.


Look, I mildly get why they felt this was a good idea. Sure. It makes practicing easier, more efficient, blah blah blah. But now that one school has done it, other schools will do it. Once those schools do it, one school will decide to go further and use a more dangerous weapon. Then more schools will follow.

Follow me guys? Shit always flows downhill.

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